constructive rest

a creative journey

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this is my experience right now…

Even when it is not what I want.  Even when I am frustrated or tired or bored.  This is my experience right now.

Trying to make things change too quickly.  Distracting myself.  Being certain I know what is right.  Trying to cultivate calm and quiet and relaxation, but doing too many things to experience it.

If I can let go, and trust, and just experience what it is I am feeling.  If I can slow down and remember everything I have to be grateful for today, and yesterday, and tomorrow.

This is my experience right now.  It is exactly where I am supposed to be.

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focus on what fulfills me…

Focusing on the good, kind, generous acts of others can only be done if we remind ourselves to be conscious about our intention to focus.  Because when we see the opposite, it consumes us.  It makes us crazy.  We worry about why, and we analyze, and question, and discuss, and we don’t let it go.

If we were able to maintain focus, how much better would our daily lives be?  How much faster would we bounce back from the inevitable mistakes we are likely to make?  How could we give back to others more fully and more regularly?  How much more would we notice, like the smiles rather than the frowns, the laughs rather than the insults, the giggles, the happiness, the pure joy?  Would we be more present, remembering more about our daily lives, being able to capture those moments that we don’t want to end?  Join in this Five Minute Friday exercise with Lisa-Jo Baker and lots of others… it’s a lot of fun! Today’s topic-word is “Focus”. No great thinking, no editing,… just get your thoughts down, typing for five minutes only. Link in and share and comment on the girl in front of you…love it!

dog park as therapy…

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We made it to the dog park and it paid off, as always.  This is my form of therapy. You just can’t watch all those smiling dogs running, wrestling, and laughing (yes, I did mean laughing) without smiling yourself. I always walk away feeling better about whatever it was that bugged me on the way in. These three dogs were rescued from the shelter, but they rescue me all the time!

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a creative personal blogger…

This first week of Blogging from the Heart has me really thinking about how I approach writing my posts (on my blog  At first I was certain no one would read it anyway, and ideas and words flowed.  I was writing two and three posts a day and setting them up for the future to keep things active.  Then, after struggling for a week or two I realized that as more people followed my posts, I was getting more and more critical of my ideas and my writing.  I started a few posts and they would just sit there because I just couldn’t get them….. right!  I was becoming a self-critical perfectionist and not expressing my true voice.

This first week I really loved the idea of writing your post as if writing to a friend.  My sister tends to read my posts and has given me a lot of encouragement.  As I wrote a post today I tried to remember that, keeping her in mind, and rather than criticism, I thought of being clear in my point, hopefully an interesting one, but also being me.  I feel like this perspective is helping me grow.  And then as I read day 4’s email, I really focused in on the words “a creative personal blogger“.      I realized that I like my unique voice.  I was reminded that I am not trying to be a professional writer here.  I started this as a way to express myself, for the simple love of writing.  If it captures hearts and minds I will be delighted.  I am a creative personal blogger.


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listening to Bird by Bird…

A few days ago, when I started the Blogging from the Heart curriculum, I purchased the audio version of Bird by Bird, by Anne Larnott.  Chapter 1 has made me laugh out loud several times.  I don’t necessarily relate to the “I just want to be published” comments that her students often talk to her about, but I definitely relate to the times she discusses the love she (and many authors) have for books.  I love to hold books, have them around me, and have always had stacks and stacks waiting to be read.  The library was really one of my favorite places growing up, although my grades didn’t demonstrate it.

When I find a book that I want to read, I tend to buy it and put it on my “to read” stack, which on several occasions has gotten out of control.  I now have a “to read” book-case.  It is brimming with ideas and stories.  I love stories and believe they add richness to our lives.  They provide us with lessons, open us up to places in time and around the globe we will never have the opportunity to experience for ourselves.  I can’t imagine a life without stories.

I really like Anne’s suggestions and her take on moving forward, writing every day regardless of your mood or inspiration.  Taking things one step at a time, and not getting overwhelmed with thoughts on what the reader will say, think, or interpret, is freeing.  Having few, if any readers, releases the anxiety a bit.  I like that she can describe writing and reading from a passionate standpoint, and then use some humor to set the reader/listener at ease.

Hearing (literally, in her voice via audio) her thoughts so far about listening to your heart and the why’s of your desire to write was a great beginning to her book.  I have no intention of doing this for a living, getting published, or being discovered.  I don’t want to write the next great American novel or become famous for my wit and prose.  What I do want is to express my feelings on paper (or I should say, on-screen) in order to feel things deeper and tap into my internal dialogue.  I want to see what happens when I let go, not worrying about who will  read this.  I want to watch my writing style and abilities improve over time.  And if along the way I find a unique voice, or tap into something that is worth shouting from the rooftops, great, but I am not holding out hope on that one!

I am working on 1% improvements over time, rather than focusing too much on my end goal.  I am taking it “bird by bird”…..

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starting to Blog from the Heart…

I just started Susannah Conway’s online Blogging from the Heart class to not only learn more about how to make my primary blog better, but in order to connect with other bloggers out there and get some encouragement and creative inspiration.  I love the class so far, and day 3 offered some good brainstorming ideas about how to better use categories, and to clean up some of the clutter.

One of my goals in taking this class it to get some tips to keep my ideas flowing so that I have more regular posts.  I tend to get a bunch of ideas all at once, post about a few and set them up for future dates, and then my ideas dry out a bit.

Over these first several days I have realized that what really attracts me to my favorite blogs is due to their design and visual quality.  Beautiful and interesting photos are what attract me and keep me coming back.  So, I hope to use this blog as a place to further explore my interest in photography as well.

I feel a little “all over the board” on this, but it will be interesting to see what I learn and how I improve over these next several weeks.  A fellow student recently mentioned just starting, and I totally agree.  If you wait too long, think too much about what to do, the right way to do it, the right way to write it, draw it, or photograph it, you may be missing out on something you could have learned along the way or stumbled upon in your “doing”.  Good advice and I will take it.

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we must remember…

We were young, unformed, open to new ideas, blindly confident, hopeful, seeing the light in everyone, excited for each day and struggling to stay awake at night and fight sleep.  We knew we would live exciting lives, we would make a difference in the world, we would work together towards something better.  We didn’t yet compare ourselves to others, or hold on to criticism, remembering the negative comments and immediately forgetting the positive, affirming ones.

At some point we started listening to those people who don’t have our best interests in mind, who don’t want us to succeed, who are jealous or angry or both.  We started thinking their opinions were our own, how much we have to offer, how much we want to give it to the world, and we gave in to fear.  We were told we are not creative, we don’t have special talents and there is too much competition out there to make it.  We were told to be safe, to be fearful and to protect ourselves by hiding our unique nature, because it wasn’t quite right, or good, or normal.  We forgot who we are.

It is time to remember…