I am not someone who loves candy. I prefer cake with butter cream frosting, preferably with coconut involved somehow, but I am not picky. Growing up my favorite, which I had more than once and sometimes more than once a day (scary, I know) are cream filled donuts. Not the ones with the Boston cream filling, but I am talking about the grainy, sugary white filling inside a doughnut with chocolate frosting on top. When I was 8 or 9 I could already eat 2 of these in one sitting, usually after church on Sundays, but any day would be OK with me. As I got older I would binge on these things when I would be able to find them at a doughnut store or at the grocery store. There was a grocery store near me when I was in college where I would sometimes buy 2 of these before or after class, in the morning or afternoon, and occasionally at night to get me through cramming for an exam. I don’t believe there is any nutritional value at all in these doughnuts, or in any doughnut for that matter. But these donuts were absolutely, truly amazing, and somehow made me feel better, until that sugar-high would be over and then I would feel a little sick. But that sick feeling did not deter me from craving these doughnuts like a drug.
Then, getting older, realizing I can no longer eat what I want, I have given them up. I haven’t had one of these for years, and if I do see them, I look longingly at them through the glass case, recalling my love for them, but I don’t give in. At this point one of these may actually kill me. I don’t eat refined sugar and stay true to a healthy diet. If I over-consume on food or have one drink more than my two-drink maximum I am recovering for days. I have noticed lots of vegan doughnuts and low carb doughnuts, and even “healthy” doughnuts that are on the market. Really? I still stay away…
Amazing how much we change as we grow older. And it is funny how a doughnut can be a tool for self-reflection and nostalgia.
constructive rest 